Reviewing our story ideas while in lockdown this topic made it onto the FAN whiteboard. It was one of the best sessions during the 2021 Australasian Fleet Managers Conference and Exhibition and a topic that leaders talk about all the time.
People with technical backgrounds tend to focus on facts and data. They like knowing there’s a hard answer and a solution to a problem that doesn’t involve feelings and emotions. Unfortunately they (we) tend to get passionate about their expert topic and credibility disappears in discussions because they lack the knowledge to control their emotions.
Many of us in the FAN office have experienced these issues in our careers so the session on emotional intelligence was one of the most rewarding parts of the conference. Here’s a summary of the key message we captured.
Navigate the truth
The biggest issue with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. You need to make sure all parties have been heard, and had the chance to express their version of the truth. Just because you believe it doesn’t make it the universal truth.
Dialogue v Debate
- Debate – defend, find holes, challenge, dismiss ideas
- Dialogue – the intent to listen to another person’s perspective and the willingness to be influenced
Accept your role in the conversation which is being present and involved using active listening skills to hear the other person’s version of the truth without assumptions or pre-judging.
Ripen your emotional intelligence skills
It’s not always easy to increase your self awareness. It takes intense, intentional practice everyday. You need to reflect on your daily interactions with people to identify triggers in your behaviour and the reactions by other people. When you practice mindfulness and patience you can evaluate the outcomes of each situation to see if by changing your behaviour, you changed the outcome.
Key takeaway
The power of your influence lays much less in your intellect and more in how you display it.
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